For many seniors in Morristown, TN, marriage can be a fragile thing. Maintaining it after 60 requires having the right expectations, remaining intimate, and a lot more.
Of course, this is far from specific to Morristown. According to 2022 American Community Survey data, only 7.7% of all U.S. marriages have reached the 50th anniversary. This includes 46.9% of married seniors aged 70+, which is a slight decline from 2014 (52%).
The big question here is: how to keep a relationship alive in your golden years? Before we get into that, let's talk about the elephant in the room.
Many things that destroy marriages tend to be silent killers. These come in many types, but the most common issue remains poor communication.
When senior couples stop truly talking and listening to each other, any simple misunderstanding can fester. Over time, this will lead to resentment and emotional distance, potentially leading to a gray divorce.
Beyond communication issues, common senior marriage killers include:
As far as senior relationship advice goes, there are some things that almost always work. Here are a few examples of how to drive positive change in a marriage.
Long-term love involves evolving through five distinct stages and seasons. Some marriage issues tend to be specific to a particular stage, which is perfectly normal and should pass with time. The five stages of marriage are:
The disillusionment stage is particularly hard on all couples, not just senior ones. This is where you discover that you're both imperfect and should accept each other anyway. Being aware of this stage can be essential for getting past it.
Emotional intimacy in aging can be a tricky thing. In senior marriages, both parties are more mature than they were at the start of the relationship. However, some see this as a negative, saying things like, "You've changed too much."
Do you think that your partner isn't the same person you've married? If so, try to accept this transformation and adapt to the new circumstances. One thing that often helps to find new things you can do together, such as:
Growing together in later years comes with ups and downs. With the latter, it's easy to blame your problems on your spouse. Excuses are easy, and there's always a temptation to imagine an outside force influencing your attitude.
If you really think about it, though, you'll see that there's always something in your life that's not perfect. As a result, your bad attitude can become chronic without you even realizing it, potentially leading to social withdrawal.
The best thing to do here is take personal responsibility. Instead of drifting into bad habits, share your feelings with your spouse. Being open with them will deepen your connection and help you avoid bottling things up.
When it comes to marriage tips after retirement, being respectful may seem like a given. The truth is, however, that many seniors become careless in treating their spouse. For instance, are you treating them better than your visitors?
If you think your marriage could use some work in this regard, make an effort to celebrate each other. Use compliments regularly to express what you love about them. You can also celebrate your marriage milestones by:
Small physical gestures can go a long way toward maintaining intimacy in senior relationships. The more you touch each other, the more you'll feel intimate with them. Try to create more opportunities for physical touch, such as:
A relationship without intimacy can last, but it will often be unhappy. Keep in mind that intimacy doesn't only involve sexual intimacy. It can also describe a senior partnership built on shared understanding and emotional trust.
The key to making this sort of marriage work is to focus on companionship over physical closeness. Make an effort to prioritize teamwork and shared interests. Try to ensure that both parties understand what this relationship should involve.
In general, seniors tend to look beyond superficial attraction or traditional provider roles. They're often looking for someone with whom they can enjoy the later stages of life through genuine commitment. Their key priorities are:
One of the easiest ways for seniors to start a relationship is to meet other seniors through shared events and interests. A senior community with a detailed activity calendar is the perfect spot to make that happen. Other options include:
As mentioned above, almost every marriage encounters issues at some point. That said, some conflicts are easier to notice. For example, it's easy to see your relationship needs help if every conversation turns into an argument.
Other times, marriage issues can be more insidious. You may stop sharing your inner thoughts and emotions, or notice your partner feeling distant. If you think your marriage is on the rocks, address the issue that may have led to it.
Knowing how to keep a relationship alive is a cornerstone of every successful marriage. Reading this guide is a good starting point in making that happen.
At TerraBella Morristown, we can help you keep your marriage healthy. Our assisted living community offers activities that cater to our residents' interests, from a walk through historic downtown Morristown to a relaxing bingo night!
We also offer a Fast Track program, giving our residents an option to move in within 24 hours. Get in touch with us to schedule a tour or learn more about our services!